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Tuesday, May 11, 2010


Saints and sages have described the world as a house of dollars and man as a sufferer of miseries. Nanak says the whole world lives in pain., have you ever tried to find out that out of suffereing you undergo, how many are created by you yourself? You yourself are the cause of many a suffering.

Take a hypothesis. During a period of misfortune, your distress is that a particular friend is not coming forward to help you out. Think for a while. Have you not, on your own, assured yourself of the expected help? Did your friend ever in life, promise any help if you were in trouble? You clinched the issue on your own and assure yourself that in case of misfortune, your friend would offer you ten lac rupees as a help. Instead he offered just ten thousand rupees. In a fit of anger you kicked the offer and took the treachery to heart. give a cool thought and find out as to how your friend is to blame. Had he ever promised to pay the amount you were, on your own expecting out of him? He never offered to pay even that much, which he was actually offering. The fact of the matter is that you never broached the subject with him. You arbitrarily decided his role in a particular situation.

Your distress is in this case, is understandable but what is the real cause of distress in your friend's behaviour or your own wrong calculation? Possibly, you had wrongly assessed his paying capacity. Again, it is quite possible that at the time you were in crisis, your friend's paying capacity was not even one thousand. He might have borrowed money to help you out of your crisis. But you had carved a touch-stone before hand and since your friend did not stand the test, you crowned him with wickedness.

The root cause of your distress is not your friend but you yourself are to blame. He, on the other hand, may be deserving to be praised. You should have been grateful to him. but, that is the kind of wisdom you utterly lack.

Similar is the situation with regard to relationship in and outside you family. A husband, normally, is sure that if he falls sick, his wife would not leave him alone even for a minute. He hopes to be lovingly cared during his illness. while expecting all this from his wife, he forgets that she has to perform many a household job and look after the children. In addition, she may be allergic to showing off. She knows her husband is and needs rest. She wants to disturb him as less as possible and, therefore, walks into his room once or twice a day to inquire after his health. But the agony of the husband crosses all limits. He feels that his wife is not faithful to him. He gets so disturbed as if heavens were going to fall on his Head or the earth was going to explode to swallow him. Do the expectations of such a husband know any limit? Is it practical or possible for housewife to abandon all her duties and keep sitting by her husband's side the whole day?

A wise man, therefore, determines the limits of his expectations. If the expectations are less, less are the tensions and emotional setbacks. If the expectations are more, more are the disturbing propositions.

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